honored

So I realize that I don't always take the time to write actual posts. I guess that happens when things are crazy busy. But that really isn't an excuse. I mean I started something I should follow through. That being said I actually have something to write about. Woo Hoo. Go me.

So a few weeks ago I was asked by a friend to do something. This friend is a close friend and I probably would have said yes regardless of what the thing was. But what she asked me to do made me feel so honored and blessed that I couldn't help but tear up a bit. See my friend Morgan is converting to Catholicism and she asked me to be her sponsor. I cried.
Having gone through the conversion process myself, I know what an honor it is to be someone's sponsor. Not knowing all the reasons I have been mad at God lately, Morgan could not have even begun to know why this was exactly what I needed.

Guess I should elaborate. I have been pretty mad at God lately. Some things have happened in my life that although I know God has a plan, I am still angry and hurt about it. My neice passed away and then not soon after that Jack and I suffered a loss that I am not sure I want to talk about. I just know that Nicki probably needed a friend, and she got one. It made me really angry and drew me away from going to mass because I couldn't possibly be happy. Usually mass focuses me and makes me happy. For a bit of time, I wasn't happy, not in the least.

So when Morgan asked me, I said yes. I did so because it was for her. I went to the first meeting and I have to say I am beyond excited about the things that I will be able to do and help guide her through. It will be a way for me to reconnect with my faith and to help as Morgan connects with hers. Just one meeting of the sponsors and I am starting to feel peace. Its a good thing. I am happy.

I will write about this more as it happens. I am really excited about it.

Hope everyone has a great week.

jms - ilu

XoXo
Amanda

Back Again

So I am the worst at keeping up with this thing. I need to set a goal, or better yet put it on my to do list. Let me tell you, my to do list is my best friend. I even carry around a notebook with my to do lists in it. I know that makes me slightly odd. haha. What can I say, I like lists.

That being said... I am updating in the form of a list. Awesome right? So consider this a 10 on Thursday.. cause thats what it will be.

1. Bentley will forever wear a cone collar. The dog can not figure out that he should not bite his back leg to the point of bleeding. He also can not figure out that the medicine is there to help. Countless vet visits, tons of money spent on medicines and Bentley is still in the cone. Apparently allergies are getting the best of him, and well the cone is the only thing that stops him from chewing his back leg off. Not to mention its kind of funny watching him maneuver in that thing.

2. We bought a new car.... I know... you are all thinking...again? How many cars do y'all buy. haha. But my husband promises me this is the last car for a while. We bought an 04 Mercedes C230 Supercharged. Its black and already had 22s (yes I am one of those people that is obsessed with rims on her car). Its currently in the shop getting headlights fixed, but that is another story all together.

3. Migraines suck. Thats all for that.

4. Jack and I are dressing up for Halloween!! yeah!! and Bentley too. Bentley will be a football and Jack and I are referees. I am excited about it.

5. Oh almost forgot, I am old now. Yep. My birthday was last week and my husband is amazing. He had flowers sent to me at work. They are beautiful. They smelt really strong though and my officemate had an allergy attack...oops.

6. Well the Mercedes is in the shop, we are a one car family. It makes me appreciate having 2 cars that much more. Thankfully we work at the same building.

7. The grocery store always sucks me in. I went there today for cat food, almost $100 later, I left. I still couldn't tell what all I bought or why.

8. Its still warm in FL, but I am bringing on fall. Its fall and I am wearing my Uggs. That makes me happy. I am okay with people looking at me weird. I like Uggs.

9. Jack is a Sgt now!!! Yeah! I got to pin him at his promotion. Absolutely amazing.

10. Working on 2010 scrapbook already!! Go me!! Only after spending a ton of money at Michaels did I realize that they have a military discount. Going to take advantage of that one in the future.


So that was our quick little update. I know I need to get more on top of this thing. I promise I will. I have some stuff to write about, which I will soon.

Hope everyone is having a good week. Have a safe and Happy Halloween.

JMS- ilu

XoXo
Amanda

Good Weekend...

So we had a great weekend... it was definitely necessary after the not so great news we had been getting. It was something that definitely helped pick the mood around here.

Let me tell you what happened this weekend.



First friday night Jack and I went to visit his parents. His mom told him about a race the next morning. Jack decided to run in it. Mind you this was 7:00pm on Friday night. Registration for the race started at 6:30am. Jack immeadiately got nervous, complaining that he hadnt eaten right and what not. So we go to Subway get some dinner and head home. Saturday morning we wake up at 5:30, get stuff together and head over to the race. Jack's nerves are still weren't settled. We start looking at the competition. Jack is now nervous because he doesn't have flat shoes and he didn't eat the best.

So the race starts and Jack takes off. He is leading the pack the whole way... and by leading the pack I mean insanely far ahead of the pack. He ends up winning the race, coming in at 17:21, which for Jack he wasn't happy with the time but he won. The second place finisher didn't come in until over 18 minutes. So basically Jack smoked the competition. He almost ran over the pace car, with Shamu in it. haha.

He won a huge trophy, and by huge I mean taller than me, its crazy. It almost didn't fit in the car. Oh and he also won a mani/pedi, which he obvioulsy gave to me. haha.

So then Sunday comes and we find out the cutting scores for motor t. Not going to lie both Jack and I were nervous. Jack has been working for Sgt for quite some time. His cutting score is a 1743. So we started looking and manpower finally listed the scores... to pick up Sgt in Motor T ... the needed cutting score... was ready for it.... ready.... 1728!!! So yes Jack picked up!!!!! So insanely excited for him. He asked me to pin him. I am just so beyond proud. So now I am married to a Sergant!!!!!

So yeah after a tough weekend last weekend... we had a great weekend this weekend. So proud of my husband.



So yeah... thats us this weekend. Hope everyone had a great weekend.



JMS- so incredibly proud of you. ilu



X0X0

Amanda

And sleep is optional

Yeah the title of this blog pretty much sums up my past week or so. Best part is it will most likely sum up my next few weeks. Amazing huh?
With work being crazy busy and trying to make time for Jack and family and friends, I have chosen to forgo sleep. I mean really I can always sleep later right? Yeah thats what I keep telling myself. Its not quite working.

So now... on to 10 on Tuesday... only a day late.

1. Work is insane. Thats the best way I can describe it. Insane. I am thinking I spend more time at work lately than anything else. Such is life I guess.


2. My nephew is incredibly inventive. The kid is smart. He absolutely charged people a toll of $.25 to go through a door at a reception following a memorial service. He made $17. Who said 5 year olds can't make money.

3. Kids can absolutely lighten the mood to anything. My niece Clara is absolutely hysterical. And adorable.

4. Flying is no fun. It never has been and pretty sure it never will be. When I am on a plane and trying to sleep... please don't talk to me.. I put in my ipod headphones so I didn't have to listen..... yeah... people tend to not get the message.

5. My dog had so much fun on vacation he wouldn't even go to Jack when he went to pick him up. Craziness. Thanks again Kate and Brittany!

6. Apparently Jack and I have a lot of garbage. I swear we take the garbage out at least every other day. Not sure how that is happening.

7. Definitely over people not being able to fill out a background check correctly. Honestly how hard is it after I explain it step by freaking step.

8. Arguing with someone is in charge of whether or not you have a job is not a good idea. Just don't do it. It never ends well.

9. Traveling and temperature changes lead to sickness for me. No fun.

10. My dog is definitely a mama's boy. As I write this he is sitting on my lap snuggling. Silly Bentley.

So hope everyone is having a good week!

JMS - ilu

XoXo
Amanda

going home

So as I write this I am delaying packing for Buffalo. See it isn't that I don't want to go to Buffalo. I do want to go, just not for this reason. The other thing is how do you know what to pack to wear to your own niece's funeral? I mean how am I supposed to know these things. This isn't supposed to happen.

Nicole was born too early and with so much fight. She had to fight, and fight hard. And she did for 3 days. But her little heart couldn't do it. She left to be with the angels. It doesn't make it any easier. And nor does it make me anymore accepting of the fact that she has gone to be with God.

I guess this whole post started off as a ramble. I have a purpose to this I swear. You see I am writing because I am mad. I am mad at God. I don't see why my niece, my sweet little innocent niece had to be the angel for another family. Why her death, which will lead to research, has to benefit another family, when it is hurting my family so much. I just don't understand. I know it is not made for me to understand. I know I am not supposed to know. I know He has a plan but it doesn't make me any less angry about it.

I just am not sure where my thoughts are on this one. I know that Nicole's going home ( I absolutely refuse to use passing away, or death) was a way to make our family grow stronger. Nicole has gone home to be with the angels. She is not lost, she is not gone. She is just in another place. I know that death is a hard thing to deal with, I understand that, but I feel like a senseless death, a death with no one to really blame, it is so much harder for me. I can't even begin to understand it. I don't know how to picture it or put the pieces together.

I want this to be a bad dream. I want to wake up and everything to be okay again. It isn't and it won't be. But it doesn't stop me from wanting it.

So everyone.... those are my thoughts tonight.... kind of jumbled, but thats what I am thinking.

I hope everyone is well.

JMS -ilu and I am proud of you


XoXo
Amanda

needing to catch up

So it has been apparent to me that I have neglected my blog. I am going to try to get back into it. I will tell you that this post will most likely not be the happiest but I will try and get back on track.
A lot has happened since I last wrote and I think the things that have happened and continue to happen have shaped me.
I decided to do a 10 on Tuesday... but a day early... because who knows if I would remember to blog tomorrow.
So here goes.

1. God has needed a lot of angels lately. I understand that He has a plan, but it seems that lately His plan has involved calling some home that we weren't ready to lose yet.

2. That being said I am learning that it is okay to be angry about it. It is okay to be angry at God. I am trying to grasp that. It isn't easy but I am trying.

3. I have 1 nephew and 3 nieces. 1 niece lives in heaven. I am trying to accept that.

4. I have amazing friends. I have learned who will come through from you when you need it most. I can not thank my friends enough, for the late night phone calls; for the offers to travel to a far away state to see people they don't know, because I need them; for the laughter and smiles just when I need it most; for the offers to watch my crazy dog and not questioning but always willing to help. I am blessed and I adore my friends.

5. Ice cream has a way of making even the crappiest of days just a little bit better.

6. When getting furniture delivered it is best to keep Bentley contained. He is not helpful to delivery men, no matter how much he would like to think he is.

7. Speaking of Bentley, apparently he is smart enough to remove his own stitches from his surgery. No need to schedule a follow up appointment or anything Dr. Bentley will handle that one on his own. This dog is nuts.

8. Work is crazy busy, but in that is the welcome distraction from things I am not yet ready to face. So thank you work for helping me when you didn't realize you were.

9. My husband will be forever shopping for a new car. He is always looking for another car. I swear he must know where every dealership, big or small, is located in a 50 mile radius. He knows every website and the stock at each dealership. It keeps him entertained.

10. I'm going home soon for a bit. Not for a reason I want to, but I am going home. It feels good to be going home. Maybe I needed a little Buffalo to get back on track.

Allright everyone... that is a quick update on me and life... in the form of a Ten on Tuesday list... 1 day early....

Hope all is well with everyone.

JMS- I am proud of you. ilu


Amanda

It's been awhile

So yeah... I am bad and haven't written in awhile. In my defense I have been busy but still it doesn't mean I should neglect writting. I am working on changing that. I promise.

Anyway today I feel the need to write about something that I have been thinking about for awhile. See for awhile I have been thinking about my rheumatiod arthritis and why me. Sometimes when I am having a flare up, like I currently am, I get these thoughts in my head. Basically I think why me, why do I have to RA?

Sometimes I think to myself that I shouldn't have to deal with this. 8 years after the diagnosis and I still question things sometimes. I mean I know my questioning isn't going to do anything. I mean no matter how much I question and feel bad for myself it isn't going to change that I have RA. It isn't going to change that I live my everyday life in pain.

I feel like now my RA is just a part of my life. I try to live my life in spite of it, instead of letting it control me. That all being said I still have my bad days. The past few days were those days. I started back to thinking... why me... what did I do to deserve this? But I realize that there is no reason that I have this. It is no one's fault. It just is. I know that I was given this struggle because I was strong to endure it. I know that God gave me this journey to make me stronger. I understand this. But somedays I lose sight of this. And it disappoints me.

I feel like people who live everyday with something like RA, or lupus or any other disease or syndrome that results in constant pain, those people are strong. I want to be one of those people. And usually I feel like I am. Just haven't felt that way lately.

So alot of times I don't tell people I have RA. I don't think it is anyone's business. I feel like when I tell people they tend to treat me differently. They act as though there are things I can't do. Yes there are things I can't do, but I promise I will tell you if I can't do something. I promise I will tell you if it hurts.... well maybe. But really thats the reason I tend not to tell people about my RA. I just want to be normal. I know that I am not necessarily normal but I try my best to be as normal as possible.

So yeah those are my thoughts today. Thats what I had to get out. I feel somewhat better just writing it.

Hope everyone is doing well. I promise to write a more positive post soon.

JMS- I'm proud of you. just so you know.

XoXo
Amanda