Friday, November 14, 2008

whew...that was scary...

okay so being a military wife can be scary at times.... and yesterday certainly was scary for me. Jack got hurt doing something and I only got a little bit of information at a time. The first message went something like "got hurt. lots of blood. going to hospital." Needless to say I freaked out.
As I got more information it definitely became less scary.... but that first text....I almost ran to Cali so I could be with him.... that is how scared I was. The situation made me think of a lot of different things.
First thing.... how scary the unknown is. If you think about it...thats why people are scared in this world or act out against others... its because they don't know. Take for example this election.... Obama is the unknown... we don't know what exactly is going to happen when he gets in office... so that being said people are scared.  McCain was a person that we knew what he would do.... so it made him the safe choice. I learned from my situation with Jack yesterday... that sometimes gathering more information makes things less scary. Hopefully this will be the case with our new president.
Another example.... cause I will probably talk about this some in future blogs.... the scariness of the medical unknown. About 7 years ago I was diagnosed with an auto immune deficiency called rheumatoid arthritis. Basically it is a condition that involves my body seeing my joints as foreign objects and attacking them. There are days when I am in a lot of pain..... and days that you would have no clue at all that I had this condition. There are days I will lay in bed and not want to move for hours... because physically it hurts to much and then there are days that I can go for hours and not feel any pain. It really depends on the day.
When I was first diagnosed, it was probably the most relieving and scary thing all rolled up into one. Reason being at least now my condition had a name.... there was a reason I was in pain. But then scary because I had no idea what it meant for me or  my future.
I am fortunate enough to have an incredibly supportive husband, who not only accepts my condition, but also looks for ways to help. You have no idea how much it means to me to have all my medicine in easier to open containers (because lets face it... people with ra cannot open child proof bottles... just can't do it) because my husband cares. It is a truly good thing.
As I gained more information though on my condition I realized that it isn't that scary.... actually it is something that not only can I live with... but something I will live in spite of. Yes I run everyday... and no I don't let the RA bother me. Yes I go for days on end without meds .... and no I don't care how much pain it causes. I live with my condition... not for it.
Wow this post took an interesting turn huh... haha.
Anyway I need to get some stuff done... I'll probably write more later.
Have a good night all!

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