needing to catch up

So it has been apparent to me that I have neglected my blog. I am going to try to get back into it. I will tell you that this post will most likely not be the happiest but I will try and get back on track.
A lot has happened since I last wrote and I think the things that have happened and continue to happen have shaped me.
I decided to do a 10 on Tuesday... but a day early... because who knows if I would remember to blog tomorrow.
So here goes.

1. God has needed a lot of angels lately. I understand that He has a plan, but it seems that lately His plan has involved calling some home that we weren't ready to lose yet.

2. That being said I am learning that it is okay to be angry about it. It is okay to be angry at God. I am trying to grasp that. It isn't easy but I am trying.

3. I have 1 nephew and 3 nieces. 1 niece lives in heaven. I am trying to accept that.

4. I have amazing friends. I have learned who will come through from you when you need it most. I can not thank my friends enough, for the late night phone calls; for the offers to travel to a far away state to see people they don't know, because I need them; for the laughter and smiles just when I need it most; for the offers to watch my crazy dog and not questioning but always willing to help. I am blessed and I adore my friends.

5. Ice cream has a way of making even the crappiest of days just a little bit better.

6. When getting furniture delivered it is best to keep Bentley contained. He is not helpful to delivery men, no matter how much he would like to think he is.

7. Speaking of Bentley, apparently he is smart enough to remove his own stitches from his surgery. No need to schedule a follow up appointment or anything Dr. Bentley will handle that one on his own. This dog is nuts.

8. Work is crazy busy, but in that is the welcome distraction from things I am not yet ready to face. So thank you work for helping me when you didn't realize you were.

9. My husband will be forever shopping for a new car. He is always looking for another car. I swear he must know where every dealership, big or small, is located in a 50 mile radius. He knows every website and the stock at each dealership. It keeps him entertained.

10. I'm going home soon for a bit. Not for a reason I want to, but I am going home. It feels good to be going home. Maybe I needed a little Buffalo to get back on track.

Allright everyone... that is a quick update on me and life... in the form of a Ten on Tuesday list... 1 day early....

Hope all is well with everyone.

JMS- I am proud of you. ilu


Amanda

It's been awhile

So yeah... I am bad and haven't written in awhile. In my defense I have been busy but still it doesn't mean I should neglect writting. I am working on changing that. I promise.

Anyway today I feel the need to write about something that I have been thinking about for awhile. See for awhile I have been thinking about my rheumatiod arthritis and why me. Sometimes when I am having a flare up, like I currently am, I get these thoughts in my head. Basically I think why me, why do I have to RA?

Sometimes I think to myself that I shouldn't have to deal with this. 8 years after the diagnosis and I still question things sometimes. I mean I know my questioning isn't going to do anything. I mean no matter how much I question and feel bad for myself it isn't going to change that I have RA. It isn't going to change that I live my everyday life in pain.

I feel like now my RA is just a part of my life. I try to live my life in spite of it, instead of letting it control me. That all being said I still have my bad days. The past few days were those days. I started back to thinking... why me... what did I do to deserve this? But I realize that there is no reason that I have this. It is no one's fault. It just is. I know that I was given this struggle because I was strong to endure it. I know that God gave me this journey to make me stronger. I understand this. But somedays I lose sight of this. And it disappoints me.

I feel like people who live everyday with something like RA, or lupus or any other disease or syndrome that results in constant pain, those people are strong. I want to be one of those people. And usually I feel like I am. Just haven't felt that way lately.

So alot of times I don't tell people I have RA. I don't think it is anyone's business. I feel like when I tell people they tend to treat me differently. They act as though there are things I can't do. Yes there are things I can't do, but I promise I will tell you if I can't do something. I promise I will tell you if it hurts.... well maybe. But really thats the reason I tend not to tell people about my RA. I just want to be normal. I know that I am not necessarily normal but I try my best to be as normal as possible.

So yeah those are my thoughts today. Thats what I had to get out. I feel somewhat better just writing it.

Hope everyone is doing well. I promise to write a more positive post soon.

JMS- I'm proud of you. just so you know.

XoXo
Amanda

Small update

So I know it has been forever since I posted. Sorry. Things are crazy here. Work has been insane and Jack and I, while we are insane too. We have had some stuff going on and I am dealing some health things, so we are working on that.
Positive is that in 2 weeks I will be in California visiting Colleen!! Best thing ever. I so need that. I need the break and just to be with one of my bestest friends.
I promise to write an actual post soon. I just have to sort out what is going on in my head and I will write.
Hope all is well with everyone.
JMS -ilu

XoXo
Amanda

Blessings...

Hope everyone is having a great Easter.

As Easter has come this year I have had time to sit back and reflect how truly blessed I am . I have a few struggles in life, but I truly believe that I learn from each one. I believe that each struggle helps to better me as a person. So with each struggle comes a blessing in disguise.

I am blessed to have my health. Yes I have health problems, but it just helps me to focus on the things I am able to do and the things I am going to continue to be able to do. I can wake up each morning and run, to me that is a blessing.

I am blessed to have amazing friends who are there for me no matter what. I have friends that I know I can call in the middle of the night and know that they will pick up the phone and listen.

I am blessed to have silly healthy animals that brighten my day. They love unconditionally and amaze me with their goofiness each day.

Most importantly I am blessed to have a man in my life that loves me beyond anything and that I love beyond anything in return. He is one of my biggest blessings and I am beyond thankful to be sharing this journey in life with him. He is my love and my best friend. I am lucky to have him in my life.

I think often times we lose sight of our blessings or tend to forget to be thankful for our everyday blessings. I try to reflect on them often. This day of forgiveness and rebirth has caused me to reflect. I am so grateful.

I hope that all of you are having a great holiday and take some time to reflect on your blessings.

JMS - ilu more than anything... <3 <3

XoXo
Amanda

Spectacular Sundays....

So I decided to do a 10 on Sunday.... woah look at me being a rebel. haha. Its mostly because I slacked majorly on blogging lately so I am making up for it slightly.

Here goes

1. PetSmart is amazing. Enough said there. They clipped my dogs nails, cleaned his ears and brushed his teeth. Now Bentley is back to being a Diva again. haha

2. I am not sure why people feel the need to fool around in the dressing rooms at the mall. I mean I told you only 1 person per room, but y'all wanted to go in and do your thing... whatever... I mean you are just going to kicked out of the store... but thats all on you.

3. I call our SUV a truck. People tell me I can't because it is a BMW, but to me it is a truck.

4. My husband and I need sun. Badly. We are way to pale right now. Therefore next Sunday.... beach time.

5. Some friends just know when you need a smile. I have a friend that does that and I don't know that he realizes it. So thanks Ryan. Your goofiness is much appreciated.

6. Its important to take things day by day. If you can't change things, just get through each day. Things will get better. (the person this is directed to will know it when they read it...hopefully)

7. I bought the cutest shoes ever last week. They made me happy just to wear them. I have an addiction. haha

8. My husband is crazy. He is trying hard to scare the dog, who is just trying to nap. Apparently he finds this entertaining.

9. Boston Market = awesome. We the other night and it had been awhile. It was yummy.

10. I am surprised that my cats have not ran away when they had the chance. If I had to live with the dog attacking me all the time and Jack constantly disturbing naps.. I would be out. just saying.

So yeah... my 10 random thoughts for the day.

Hope all is well with everyone!

Jms- ilu... you make me proud.

XoXo
Amanda

update on us

So I know I said I would post a real post today so here it goes.

Things with us are crazy. Jack and I have been making a ton of decisions lately and a grew of them we will have to wait to see how they play out.

See Jack wanted to go active reserve in the Marine Corps, we submitted the package and did what all military families do, we hurried up and waited. Well after some time we were told there were no slots and we could try again in October. That seemed way to long for us to wait. So we started looking into other options. And we finally came to a decision. Jack submitted a conditional release form the Marine Corps to join the Army. Crazy right! So now we are waiting. The Marine Corps could deny Jack and give him an active spot, or we go Army. We have about another month to wait and see. So who knows.

So we have that going. Bentley is growing. Jack is currently teasing him. I think thats why we got the dog, so Jack would have a friend that couldn't ignore him. Even though at this moment the dog and both cats are doing their best to hide from Jack, who is doing his best to scare the crap out of them. Bentley got his nails clipped today, which was much needed! I am telling you PetSmart is my new best friend. They clipped his nails and brushed his teeth. Which for my dog is a necessity seeing as how he loves making out with everyone.

But yeah that is pretty much our update for now. I am probably going to do another post here in just a few minutes... but other than that... thats us.

Hope all is well with everyone!

JMS - ilu... lots and lots.

XoXo
Amanda

whoops...

It's been awhile...cause apparently I suck at blogging. To be honest I just got caught up in life. Jack and I have been busy and have been making some pretty big decisions. We aren't sure how things are going to work out yet, but we are positive and hopeful for new beginnings. More details to come soon.

I promise to write a real post tomorrow!

Hope everyone is well!

JMS - Ilu

XoXo
Amanda